A Story; or Be Careful What You Wish For

I have all sorts of wild emotions swirling about my heart and mind. I'm disappointed, angry, sad, betrayed, bitter...

I don't want to be angry, sad and bitter. Can't help the disappointed and betrayed, but I can control the others.

As a family, we have decided to really focus on our own self reliance. Watching the election and the weather disaster and the government's response to the disaster in the North East really spurs the interest in depending on NO ONE for our own well being and survival. This will give us a sense of peace and confidence to replace some other negative thoughts and feelings.

We are going to have a provident living Christmas!

As an individual, I want to focus on being more compassionate and kind. I'm pretty selfish. Referring again to the Nor'east, being perfectly honest, those people have pretty much voted the compassion out of me. I don't feel bad for people who can't manage the minimum preparation with at least A WEEK'S NOTICE of pending disaster. I'm an ant, dammit, and the grasshoppers can freeze and starve for all I care.

I kind of feel bad for people whose homes got destroyed and swept away. No amount of food storage or preparedness can help you in that kind of disaster. But all the people in the streets fighting and screaming for help just asked for MORE government interference in all of our lives and guess what...they aren't that reliable. In fact, FEMA shut down because of bad weather.

So, with all this bitterness, I really do want to be kind. I don't like being hateful. It's no fun. I've spent a few days really pondering and focusing on being more generous with my time and helping my actual neighbors in their need. Lo and behold, on Monday morning I had an e-mail about a family who just moved into our ward, the Mama just had a baby and just came home from an extended stay at the hospital because of a blood clot and they are not yet unpacked. Could anyone help her unpack, watch her kids, bring her dinner? The next day I had a text from my friend asking if I would have time Wednesday to help her pick up a car in Phoenix. Last night I got a call from another friend asking if I could watch her kid after school because Plan A fell through. It was an emergency.

Well, I asked for it after all. So yes, yes, and yes.

I spent Tuesday morning helping New Jenny unpack and dropped pizza and salad off for her family on my way to a Relief Society meeting about canning meat. (Provident Living!) I spent this morning on a pleasant drive up to Phoenix with my friend. We chatted and got to know a little more about each other.

As we pulled up to the place where she was picking up her car, I told her I brought my taser just in case. She said, "The razor-wire is making you a little nervous, is it?" So in industrial Phoenix, she finalized her transaction with a very pleasant man, whose daughter (roughly 30, I'd say) worked at the reception desk. He gave Emily some pointers on driving the '67 Bronco but then when my 5'2" friend asked how to adjust the seats, he said, "Uh...that might be a problem." The seats don't adjust, she doesn't drive a stick...so we decided to trade drivers. The seats were still a bit of a stretch for me, but not as bad. The helpful and kind Seller of the Vehicle found a big fat phone book and a pillow for a back rest to bring the "seat" forward a little. He duct-taped (you can do anything with duct-tape!) foam blocks to the pedals to bring them closer too. I think he felt bad sending two girls not much older than his own daughter out on the road in that car.

Emily decided she could drive it after all. I promised to follow close behind. We stopped for gas and a quart of oil, but we couldn't figure out how to pop the hood. A (homeless?) guy approached us and offered assistance. Emily was on the phone with the Kindly Seller of the Vehicle who drove down quickly to show her how to pop the hood. It was slightly tricky, but easy if you know how. Homeless Guy wasn't leaving. I was glad I had my taser, just in case. Homeless Guy asked for the empty oil bottle. "I use it for...something else," he said mysteriously. "Mumble mumble bicycle mumble mumble." Okay...

Kindly Seller of the Vehicle didn't leave until Homeless Guy wandered away and Emily was safely on the road. Thank you, Kindly Seller of the Vehicle!

Emily and I made a deal to trade cars about halfway home, but she just kept on going past the mid-point. When we pulled into her driveway, she said she was so miserable she just wanted to push through and not stop for nothin'. She thanked me profusely for my willingness to help and I told her I was glad she called. Really! I was! I'm her visiting teacher after all, so I should be the person she calls for help!

Now that I am home safely I am digging out playdough and cookie dough to entertain and feed small children when they come home from school.

And now my generosity plate is full, thanks! Maybe I'll go back to bitter for just a day or two...